Pet Defective – The Barking Tale of Lena Dunham’s Dog

Pet Defective – The Barking Tale of Lena Dunham’s Dog

So to the modern mystery of our time, one that we shall call, Agatha Christie-style, The Mysterious Affair of Lena Dunham’s Dog. A couple of years ago, Dunham got a rescue dog from a shelter that she called Lamby, because apparently the dog hadn’t suffered enough. Except, it turned out, it had, because, in between writing about her dog for the New Yorker and posing with her dog in Vogue, she posted photos on Instagram of bites she got from Lamby. Then, in June, the story took a new turn, when Dunham announced that Lamby, having suffered “terrible abuse as a pup” had finally proven too unruly and was now living in “an amazing professional facility in Los Angeles”. Ooh, maybe Lamby will say hi to Trisha, my childhood turtle, as I’m pretty sure that’s where my mother said she went to live!

And that’s sad, but c’est la vie. Or maybe … not? The shelter where Dunham originally got Lamby waded in to throw some serious shade, declaring that there was no way Dunham could know what her dog had been through before he came to live with her. “It’s just hard to believe the dog was nasty when she took Lamby to every green room with her when Girls was still a thing four years ago,” said Robert Vasquez from the Brooklyn Animal Rescue Coalition (Barc – stop laughing, this is serious, OK?).

Ohhhh snaps! Is that an animal shelter or a burrrrrrns unit?

Can LiS please just write the rest of this in dog puns? Because it honestly doesn’t know, with a tale (tail) about Dunham engaging in battle-by-social-media with a dog shelter. “I have weathered a lot of micro-scandals but this one hurts MOST, because of the vulnerability of letting people know Lamby and my story,” Dunham wrote on Instagram. If you’re thinking the answer to this is: “Well, maybe if you didn’t write about yourself so much, people wouldn’t feel free to make such personal comments,” then you don’t understand the first-person-is-all, feelings-over-facts times in which we live.

Anyway, since then, both Lamby’s trainer and the sister of his vet have spoken up in defence of Dunham so, frankly, who the hell knows what the truth is. But the takeaway here seems to be this: if anyone wants to dismantle the American left any more than it has already done itself, just spread a story about Dunham and watch them liberals lose their minds. You’re welcome!